Thailand’s Political Conflict in Change Management Perspective

After two days of Mr.Abhisit’s announcement about offering himself as a person to resolve the latest political deadlock that has been taken place for almost six months. There are massive criticisms from both people who support PDRC and the opposite site.

I’ve decided to go through his interview on Youtube in addition to understanding change management approaches. According to my opinion, I can interpret Mr.Abhisit's thought process in term of perspective of strategic change management.

When we look at change management, in all kind of changes whether organizational change, behavioral change, or even political change in this case, it is required a higher power who say Yes-Or-No. For examples, it is required an executive board for organizational change, unit head or so for departmental change. Or in case of behavioral change, the person who possesses that body would own a final word. In case of political change, military needs to be on the side who wants to change based on the history.

I would imagine that this could be his thought that he might have seen that this political conflict won't end if there are no key stakeholders who hold the actual power involved. In fact PDRC has done the same thing by setting up appointments with many key stakeholders. It's just perhaps now they need support from the grass root more than ever to create sense of urgency. Then the higher power would be convinced that change is required.

Mr.Abhisit's announcement can also be seen as an agent to stimulate people to make a decision whether they want to support PDRC's agenda because time is running out.

His current position on the political conflict is a big gambling which could cost him political life. It is very risky that he stands out to take criticism bravely. However this is not a simple game. There could be something going on behind the scene at the moment. And Mr.Abhisit is part of this entire political game which needs to be ended no matter what.

There is a plan and this is a strategic move.

Entrepreneur Interview: Part 1

            Many of us may believe that many things come unexpectedly. That’s why human beings created a term, “destiny”, in a dictionary. Whether it’s true, many situations in our lives are unexplainable. It is perhaps the same as Khun Nopthanan Kan-Nak, the owner of Dok Mok spa, a mall spa located at Soi Rajvithee 18 or Soi Wat Apaithayaram. He wanted to do it for a long time but there were many incidents made him put his dream on hold and one day it happened to be right at his doorstep.

Tiring & Dreaming

            “I’d worked in a company as a normal office worker for 19 years. It was very hectic and didn’t bring me anywhere. The income wasn’t high. I felt very bored and tired with everything around me. To add the worse, I started to have my health issue. That’s why I quitted.”, Khun Nopthana said. That’s when he started to think about doing his own business. He started his first business, the floral shop, at Nang Lerng market. He put all his saving into the business. He rented an old classic building in that area. The first floor was the shop and the second floor was his home. He told that the business went pretty well at the beginning. He did everything on his own with a hired worker. However the worker became his burden since he started to be not responsible to the work although he was very talented florist. Later there were several protests and demonstrations in that area. He had to close his shops many times in a long period. The customers didn’t come. There was not income. The backup money was run out. So he decided to close down the shop with nothing left.

            He started to look for a new career. What came up into his mind was to have a spa. However it was impossible at stage since he didn’t have any capital left. He decided to take a two month course of message at the Bangkok metropolitan Occupational training center and applied for a work at the other spa. Not only sharpen his skill as a therapist, it also allowed him to learn and absorb daily operation including the problems of the business. After awhile, he had to leave the job because of family issue. He needed to take care of his sick mother. He was with her for a year and a half.

It’s All About Family

            All he has today comes from family support. That’s what he mentioned, investment and everything. He finished a vocational school in sales and marketing, worked for a company, which didn’t provide any further future, in addition to started and closed down his own business. He has been through many things. The good thing is he has a support from his family especially his sister. She invested her own money for him without asking any specific questions but trusted her brother can do something better for life. Perhaps he inherited an entrepreneurship from his father, who was used to run a small construction supplier. That’s why he felt that it was time for him to do something on his own.

            Life to him wasn’t that bad comparing to what he is today. “Selective” would be the word that he described himself. He chose to rent a place for living in a inexpensive area and not to be luxurious. He tried to be as economic as possible to survive and to earn some savings for his future. And of course, there is his sister, a big sponsor in his life.

            The most amazing thing is the trust that they have among family members. No doubts, or even if but not to express, about his ability to run his own shop and nothing. Only very best support and wishes for him to be successful.

Building Up the Dream and Moving Forward

            At the beginning that he wanted to open his own spa, he came to this place but decided not to rent it because of the rental fee was too high for him at that time. He refused. The building that he had an eye on was an apartment newly constructed in Soi Wat Apaithayaram. He stopped by to make negotiation couple of times but wasn’t successful. So he gave up. It turns that there was the other persons who wanted to run the spa at the same place. The ladies rented the place and asked him to work for them. He agreed so.

            After six months of the operation, most of the time he ran the place by himself. The ladies were the investor who didn’t have a clear picture about spa business. Then they decided to stop running the business on their own and asked if he wanted to continue it.  “I didn’t expect that I’d have this place after many rounds of discussion and negotiation with the landlord. However she must see my strong intention to do so. After all and all, she reduced the rental fee just for me to continue a spa shop in this area.”, Nopthanan recalled.

            Nopthanan didn’t spend much both time and money in building up the business because it was more or less taking over from the former owner. However he wanted to have it according to his dream. It’s all built based on the idea of “Beautiful, Clean and Cozy music.” He didn’t want to spend so much money to purchase any luxurious and expensive products to his little shop but rather affordable with good quality since he wanted the cost to be as low as possible.

Destiny is Business

            “I started to hire these two therapists when I decided to continue the place since February 2013. I knew one of them from the former spa that I worked. He was very good masseur. I pursued him to work with me but he didn’t respond. We lost contact numbers of each other.”, said he. That’s how he started to tell a story of getting a team on broad.  He worked alone at the beginning. He said his current therapist knew only that he had a shop around this area but didn’t know exactly. He kept looking for it after deciding that he should work with him, Nopthanan. That would be a destiny to do the business together. They found each other. And later he hired the other one as the part time.

            “At the beginning when I looked for my own shop, I came to this area. I saw that there were couple of hair salons and some restaurants. And there was no spa at all. I thought that it’d be a good place to do here because people around here are more or less labor workers. Perhaps they need to relax.” That’s what he described how he chose the location and reasons behind that. Actually the price of the spa services here are not expensive comparing to the one in business district or a big complex. He said he did a research about the price and a simple principle that he used to set up the price was “market price”. It’s important to study the market price in order to be competitive even though there are no competitors around the area but people know the price. They perhaps later talk behind his back and spread the news.

            Sorting out the products is also a crucial part. As mentioned earlier, he chose the one that is reasonable price with good quality, not excellent, because the market is not for that. He did a research by knocking the doorstep of the spa suppliers in Chatuchak area and compared the price. “Of course buying in a big volume may reduce the price but I go to Chatuchak every weekend, I don’t need to do that. I don’t even need to stock anything. My stock is basically last for a week. That should be enough at this stage to supply the demand of the customers at that moment.”

Business is Business But Growing the Business is to Build Entrepreneurship Mindset of Employees

            “I let him involve when we decorated our shop. We call it, “our shop”. If he didn’t like anything, I’d just let him redecorate the way he wanted. I wanted to make him feel that it’s his own.” “I guarantee his minimal incomes and anything extra, we divided it in the equal shares, three of us. I want them to feel comfortable working with me and they really belong to this place.”

            Nopthana is a person who can distinguish between normal friendship and business friendship according what he told. He could go to have a drink in the evening with his subordinates but comes back in the morning and gave a strong comment about their poor performance. He mentioned that the business growing with two reasons, the therapist’s skill and personal relationship with the customers. He said the sales keeps growing noticeably every month. He doesn’t have any statistic but from the income point of view, he can see it. His shop has many returned customers while he tries to outreach the new customers but still has no ideas what to do. Most of the customers come here because of words of mouth. They like the service there in all aspects. Some even just stop by and chit chat with him with any kinds of story. He knows that it comes from everyone, three of them.

            “I ensure that they are involved in any management and decision in our shops. I encourage them to talk openly to me. I think what we have today, our small success, is because everyone in Dok Mok Spa.”

2P – Problem and People

            “I spend, like, double or triple of efforts to manage the shop and especially on people. In the company you enforce company regulation, things end. Here you can’t. We meet in our small shop. We have only three people and I can’t afford to lose any of them at this point. Not only because money makers but partners to me.”

            Every business has a problem. Either it’s big or small scale, they’re the problems and required the same principle to handle. In spa business, besides the daily operation, people are the main issue, the therapist. Even if there are only three persons including Nopthanan, the issue has been so much on people, majorly his therapist. They come with their own issues and issues with the customers. He said he lose some of his customers because poor customer service skill and mindset of his therapist. These people are sometime they are unpredictable. Of course he knows that they work with him by heart. They think they own the place, which is good, but it doesn’t mean they want to do anything they want. There was one incident several months back that he had to call to his customer to make apology because his therapist “felt like” not to serve him. The customer service mindset among his employees is quite crucial but he thinks it can be improved by putting extra effort to communicate with them. They are partners and he needs them.

            “For sure they know that I want to blame them. We are so close to one another. Even though they know, I still need to talk to them nicely to make them aware about the situation and not to repeat it.  I don’t know if it’s going to work but will need to do.”

Future May Hold for Me

            Many business owners may think about expanding once it grows one day but for Nopthanan doesn’t see that at this point. He knows this business inside and outside, thoroughly. He knows if he expanded, he would fall into the same situation like the other big spa, which they have to spend so much effort in managing the therapists. He doesn’t want such burden. So at this stage he’d like to continue as it is and let’s see what the future hold for him.

Last Word

            Before conversation ended, he would like to leave a message for anyone who wants to get into this business, “You need to gain experience from the (spa) business first before starting in term of daily operation, employees, employees’ living, and so on. You also need to understand the spa products, cost as well as market understanding.”

            The last summary was given by him. He said, “I’m so exhausted by doing everything on my own but I’m happy. I am very happy.”

Key Competence of Khun Nopthanan

• Seeking and Acting on Opportunities
• Persistence
• Information Seeking
• Commitment to Work Contract
• Problem Solving
• Self-Confidence
• Persuasions
• Use of Influence Strategies
• Concern for Others

Social Media, Human Behaviors and Advertisement.

Last night I visited Facebook's page of a travel agency. It has shown an advertisement about a new package, which outlined as "Best & Cheap". There were many people visited. However all of comments left in that ads were negative. They all shared the same thing, "That's not cheap. Deceiving ads. People are not stupid." I think it's interesting. Even five minutes ago I went to visit, those comments were left there still. No one takes any actions. Interesting. So today I'd like to share my thought about social media and human behaviors via Internet. Perhaps you can also share more of yours.

To me, social media is just a tool no matter Facebook, Twitter, Path, Pinterest, etc. There's nothing else. There have been many training courses, seminars, and so, about social media marketing management. The basic idea of social media is human behavior on the Internet. As we know, we can be anything on the Internet. Noone cares. Only something that can really create an impact, that's when people start looking for a "real" person behind that. Many companies have rolled out their company's Facebook and there are many still that don't. A very foundation of all is about "comment". In my previous organization, we discussed about joining the wave of social media but a major concern is about the comment. There MUST BE A PERSON at least take a full-time job in monitoring, responding and filtering the comments. There could be competitors, revengers, and anyone can slam it with negative and unpleasant comments. We might think about having it but block everyone not to express the opinion or post anything on the Wall. However that's not the purpose of having social media or put yourself in the spotlight. If you've decided to be there, you must be able to take all consequences and manage them. Mark Shaefer wrote an article named The Sixth Elements of Human Behavior That Drive Social Media. He explained that there are six types of human behaviors nicely. The first one is Sharing. People in Social Media society like to share with an assumption that it'll be benefit to the others. The second thing is Pleasure. People want to share their pleasure or good moments to the others there. Pleasure from pleasure activities such as sharing as mentioned or even meeting new people that can create another type of joy. The other is to Group. Human beings like to be part of the society. They will be even more happy if they can be part of something they're interested in. That's why we see some features in Facebook that allow us to create our own groups or even subscribe to the other groups of interest. The fourth one is Replication of Ideas, Behaviors and Beliefs. After reading one thing and if they like, perhaps they act like a copycat or modifying those ideas to fit their own. They would probably pass those ideas, behaviors or beliefs to the others such as "planking", "tight my breast (nan-ok)"  if we remember that. The fifth one is Self-Promotion. Our own photos or not so far away "Net Idols", these are clear example of self-promotion. And the last one is Loyalty Identification. Look at the group, fan clubs and etc. Those are good examples.

Now if we consolidate those behaviors described above and look at one picture, people in social media. People in there can be expressed themselves freely by just having an email to register. We've seen that many people have different email addresses just for distinguishing their characters in social media such as Facebook or even long before tool, forum. If we look at one particular event and take those elements of human behaviors, one bad advertisement. People express their opinion in there and perhaps share that piece of ads with their comments. That's impact of Sharing. At the same ads, if it starts to have more negative comments, there tend to have more negative one coming. At the same time, if there are people who like the comment, it'll be more or less created self-promotion. People like the idea written. It also shows replication of thought and behaviors in there. However if that company has a fan club or something similar, too. They might show "loyalty" by protecting that advertisement. Now you see why social media management is a full-time job. It's human nature. Bad things are easy to spread as fast as or even faster than the virus. Good things take time and to make it spread, it has to be really really good. And those bad things, when they're there, they're there. People can retrieve those things anytime. And to change the perception will take time and hard effort.

It's important that we have to be trustful and credible as well as honest, at least showing those, if we want to deal with social media like this because people are ready to share, to spread and to replicate. Now you know how you want to manage your Facebook, don't you?

A Life of Stray Dogs

“Muffin, come in. It’s raining outside.”

After the voice, a cute little puppy ran back toward that voice. An old lady grabbed and kissed on that fluffy hair. She held the puppy tight to her body while it tried to lick her chin. They both went inside the house. What happening was observed by Dough, a little puppy around the same age living in the box that some people put it there as a shelter before he was born. Dough, who was now wet and tumbling, looked at what appeared in front of him as if he tried to remember everything.

“Dough. Hurry up. Come in here, son. You gonna catch a cold.” said his mom.

The puppy ran through a wet and dirty street of a small alley to his mom, who stayed in the box that his mom always called “home”. He tried to shake off water from his body while his mom tried to lick him.

“Mommy, why don’t we have a house, like, Muffin’s?” he asked. His mom responded while licking on his body, “Well, Muffin has a big house and you have a small house. So you both have a house, don’t you?” The little dog thought before gave her a nod to show that he agreed.

“That is true, mommy.” He helped his mom to lick his front left leg. “Mommy, do you think Muffin stays in a nice bed?”

Now his body was dry and clean. “Come on, here. Stay close to mommy.” His mom said, “Yes, I’m sure that Muffin has a very very nice and comfy bed. What about you, sweetie?” His mom turned her face and looked at him. Dough was now laid against his mom body. He felt so warm and secured.

“I don’t have a real bed but do have your tummy. I can sleep well every night.” The young dog giggled and tried to push his head between the front legs of hers. She smiled.

The rain stopped and everything turned very quiet. It seems that the city was about to sleep but two dogs still had their eyes open. Dough looked at the stars scattering all over the sky. It was the dark night and no city light.

The puppy broke a silent with another question, “Mommy, do you think Muffin have good food to eat everyday?”

“What do you think?” His mom asked him back.

“Yeah…I think so. I see that nice lady gives him a lot of food either from can or box everyday. He cannot finish them all though.” He said.

His mom’s head laid on the ground and her eyes looked further ahead through the dark. She said, “Are you hungry, son?”

“No, mommy. I’m so full. I think I ate a lot today. I love that pasta from the garbage that we went this afternoon.” He smiled and responded.

She asked her son, “Do you have a good time going out some new places and try different food?”

The young dog raised his head and nodded quickly. He answered with excitement, “Yes. Yes, mommy. I have a great time. I like going out places and places, and have a chance to try new food.”

Suddenly his ears dropped and he faced down.

“What happens, son?” She worrying asked the puppy.

“I just don’t like when we go to the restaurant. I sit nicely, look at people and ask for food. They sometimes kick me out. It hurts.” He said sadly.

“But there are also many nice people who give me their food, like, two girls this morning. I think they are nice.” He smiled again.

“Yes, sometimes we have to meet nice and not-so-nice people but it’s up to you which one you choose to think of. Don’t you agree?” His mom turned the question back to him.

“Yes, mommy. Just like those two girls. I just wish that I can meet those nice people everyday. So I have food from them.” The puppy continued, “I just think about Muffin. He must be bored with that food. He can’t finish them.”

His mom looked at him and asked, “What do you think? Will you be bored having the same food everyday?” Dough nodded instead of saying yes.

It’s getting cold at night. The puppy tried to push his body further toward his mom. His mom tugged him in tightly.

“Mommy, do you think Muffin will miss his mom?” He asked innocently.

“If mommy wasn’t here, would you miss mommy?” She asked.

The puppy responded sadly, “Yes, I would miss you desperately. If I feel cold, who will tug me in? If I had a lot of questions, who would give me the answers?” He now pushed his head between the front legs of his mom as if he could lose his mom anytime.

 “Even though Muffin doesn’t have mommy, I’m sure that the lady loves his so much as well. Although they cannot talk to each other, I’m sure that Muffin feels that he has someone who really loves him.” She responded with smile.

The young dog felt so happy.

It’s a different night. It seems that there were so many questions came into the puppy’s mind. He thought about many things. It’s, like, he tried to understand who he was.

“Mommy, how my dad looks like?” He broke the silent with the question he never asked before.

His mom raised her head and turned to him. She looked at his eyes and slowly said, “You just look like him.” And continued, “He is the German Sheppard, strong and tall. You have his eyes and his color, son. That’s why I tried so hard to protect you from people who tried to take you away from me. You’re just like him, Dough.”

The small dog smiled. He can feel affection that his mom passed through the way she looked at him.

All of sudden, his mom asked him, “Have you every felt sorry to be born as a stray dog?” It was the first time that he had been asked this question although he had heard from people around him kept calling him that. It’s just the first time he heard from his mom.

The puppy turned his face high and looked to his mom as if he wanted to ensure that his message could get through it correctly.

“I sometimes feel sorry of not living in the big house or having food waiting for me. I sometimes feel sorry for being push away by people just because I’m a stray dog. Many times I have questions why my brothers and sisters taken not me. But you know what, mom?” He stopped and stared at his mom’s eyes. “I’ve never felt regret being your son and protected by you at any single moment.”

The puppy tried to make his voice as serious and mature as he could, “Mommy, I’d protect you when I grow up. I’ll be a strong dog. I’ll take care of you when you’re old. I promise.”

If the puppy could see through the darkness, he would notice tears of joy in his mom’s eyes.

It’s very late at night. The puppy slept tightly tugged by his mom. His face looked so peaceful and full of smile. With a thought of a young puppy, he told himself that he didn’t know what would happen the next day but determined that he would make a better day of his mom’s life and his. He realized that what he had was something so precious. There’s no one could take that away from him.

If we could see through the darkness, the last word he mumbled before falling asleep is,

“I’m the luckiest dog in the world.”  

เอาใจเขามาใส่ใจเรา

ในการอยู่ในสังคมโดยเฉพาะการใช้ชีวิตคู่ การรู้จักคำว่า "เอาใจเขามาใส่ใจเรา" นั้นเป็นสิ่งที่เราต่างได้รับการสั่งสอน อบรม สืบทอด มาตั้งแต่เล็ก การเอาใจเขามาใส่ใจเราเป็นเรื่องที่ทำได้ยากเอาเข้าจริงแล้วถ้าเปรียบเทียบกับยุคสมัยที่ใครๆต่างก็สนใจแต่ตัวเองเป็นหลัก เขียนแบบนี้ไม่ได้แปลว่ามนุษย์ทุกวันนี้เห็นแก่ตัวทั้งหมดเพียงแต่เราให้ความสำคัญกับตัวเองมากขึ้นกว่าแต่ก่อน นั่นเป็นสาเหตุให้การ "เอาใจเขามาใส่ใจเรา" ดูเป็นเรื่องที่ยากขึ้นมาสำหรับคนบางคน

ถ้าเรามองในแง่ศาสนาพุทธ เราจะพบว่าการเอาใจเขามาใส่ใจเรานั้นจัดอยู่ในหลักธรรมที่เราเรียกว่า "นิโรธ" ซึ่งนิโรธเองประกอบด้วย 5 หลักการคือ ปทาน 5 วิมุตติ 5 วิเวก 5 วิราคะ 5 และ โวสัคคะ 5 โดยทั้ง 5 หลักการกล่าวถึง การละกิเลส ความหลุดพ้น ความสงัดและความปลีกออก ความคลายกำหนัดและความสำรอก สุดท้ายคือความสลัดและความปล่อย โดยแต่ละหลักการย่อยก็ประกอบด้วยเรื่องต่างๆ 5 เรื่อง ซึ่งการที่เราอยากจะเอาใจเขามาใส่ใจเรานั้นต้องเริ่มจากการที่เราปล่อยวางตัวตน ความคิด และ จิตใจ ของเรา เราเริ่มที่จะลดความสำคัญกับสิ่งที่เราคิดว่าสิ่งนั้นเป็นสิ่งที่ใหญ่ที่สุดของเราเพื่อให้เกิดพื้นที่ในการรับสิ่งใหม่ที่เราจะนำมา "ใส่" การปลอดปล่อยหรือละในสิ่งที่เรามีอยู่นั้นจะทำได้มากหรือน้อยก็ขึ้นอยู่กับแต่ละบุคคลว่าชาติกำเนิด การเลี้ยงดู สิ่งแวดล้อมต่างๆ ประสบการณ์ชีวิต จะทำให้เราละทิ้งได้ขนาดไหน ซึ่งเอาเข้าจริงแล้วการละ การเลิก นั้นเราจัดว่าเป็นทักษะทางใจที่เราทุกคนสามารถฝึกฝนกันได้ เพราะสำหรับคนที่ไม่เคยทำสิ่งนั้นมาก่อน เรื่องเหล่านี้จะเป็นสิ่งที่แทบจะเป็นไปไม่ได้เลย ยกตัวอย่างเช่น การจะทิ้งเสื้อผ้าสำหรับคนที่รักเสื้อผ้าเห็นคุณค่าของเสื้อผ้าหรืออาจจะเป็นเพราะเสียดายของ กว่าจะซื้อมาแต่ละตัวก็ต้องเก็บหอมรอมริด เดินเลือกอยู่หลายครั้งหลายครา บางครั้งอาจไปซื้อมาจากต่างประเทศ พอเวลาผ่านไป เสื้อผ้าเริ่มเก่า แบบเริ่มล้าสมัย เจ้าของอาจจะเริ่มใส่แล้วอึดอัด บางคนก็อาจจะยังคงเก็บไว้เป็นที่ระลึกหรือหวังว่าจะเอามาใส่ได้อีก หรือจะด้วยเหตุผลใดก็แล้วแต่ ซึ่งทำให้เราไม่สามารถที่จะ "ละ" เสื้อผ้าเหล่านั้นจากตู้เสื้อผ้าของเราได้ ซึ่งถ้าเราถอยออกมามองเหตุการณ์ทั้งหมดอีกซักก้าวสองก้าวเราเองก็จะพบว่า เสื้อผ้าเหล่านั้นเราเองก็แทบจะไม่ได้ใส่ เก็บไว้ก้มีแต่จะเก่าและก็ผุพังไปตามกาลเวลา ทำไมเราถึงไม่เริ่มที่นำมันออกมา อาจจะไปขายร้านมือสอง ยกให้ญาติพี่น้อง หรือ บริจาคให้กับคนที่ยังขาด เรืิ่องเหล่านี้เป็นเรื่องที่เราต้องฝึกฝนใจของเรา ทำหลายครั้ง ทำเรื่อยๆ อย่างน้อยสามครั้ง เราเองก็จะเริ่มคุ้นเคย จะเห็นว่าเมื่อใดก็ตามเราเริ่มจำหน่ายเสื้อผ้าเราออกไป ตู้ของเราก็จะมีที่ว่างมากขึ้นเพียงพอที่เราจะหาเสื้อผ้าใหม่มาใส่เข้าไปหรืออาจจะทำให้ตู้เสื้อผ้าดูโล่งโปร่งสบายและไม่อับ ซึ่งสิ่งที่พูดมาทั้งหมดก็เหมือนกับใจคน สมองคน ความคิดของคน

การที่จะเอาใจเขามาใส่ใจเรานั้น จะต้องอาศัยการฝึกฝนทักษะหลายอย่างเช่น การฟังโดยปราศจากอคติ การฝึกความอดทนที่จะไม่โต้ตอบถึงแม้จะไม่เห็นด้วย การแสดงการรับรู้ในเรื่องที่เรา ฟังอย่างที่เขาเล่า คิดเหมือนกับที่เขาคิด รู้สึกเหมือนกับที่เขารู้สึก ซึ่งการที่เราเอาสมองและจิตใจของเราไปนั่งในฝั่งที่เขาอยู่ เราเองย่อมได้ประสบการณ์ในการที่จะรู้สึกอย่างที่เขารู้สึกและเข้าใจว่าทำไมเขาถึงรู้สึกแบบนั้น ไม่ว่าจะดีหรือจะร้ายก็ตาม ทีนี้ประเด็นที่สำคัญก็คือหลังจากที่เราฟังจนจบ เรากลับมาเป็นตัวเรา การตัดสินในสารที่เราเพิ่งจะได้รับมาย่อมมาจากประสบการณ์ชีวิตและพื้นเพของแต่ละบุคคล เพราะการตัดสินนั้นเกิดจากทัศนคติ ซึ่งพัฒนามาจากความเชื่อและคุณค่าของสิ่งต่างๆที่บุคคลนั้นยึดถือไว้

หลายๆคนหรือแม้กระทั้งตัวเราเอง บางทีก็มองว่าการที่เราเอา "ใจเขา" มาใส่ "ใจเรา" ตลอดนั้น เรากำลังถูกเอารัดเอาเปรียบทางความรู้สึกอยู่หรือไม่ แล้วทำไมต้องเป็นเราที่่ต้องเป็นคนทำแบบนี้ นั่นอาจจะเป็นคำถามของหลายๆคน คำตอบที่จะให้ต่อไปนี้เป็นมุมมองของผู้เขียนโดยตรงคือความเมตตา ความปราถนาที่จะเห็นคนอีกคนหนึ่งมีความสุข ซึ่งเอาเข้าจริงแล้วมัันคือ "ความรัก" ที่คนๆหนึ่งจะมีให้ต่อเพื่อนมนุษย์อีกคนหนึ่ง ซึ่งความรักนั้นแต่ละคนย่อมมีไม่เท่ากัน บางคนมีมากก็สามารถให้มากๆได้ บางคนมีน้อยก็อยากให้มากๆ บางคนมีมากแต่ให้ได้น้อยหรือบางครั้งไม่สามารถจะให้ได้ ดังนั้นความรักและความเมตตาในตัวบุคคลจึงเป็นสิ่งสำคัญที่คนๆหนึ่งจะยอมละทิ้งในสิ่งที่ตนเองเป็นและมี เพียงเพื่อจะได้นำความคิดและความรู้สึกของบุคคลที่เราต้องการจะเมตตานำมาใส่ในใจและในความคิดของเรา เพื่อจะก่อให้เกิดการกระทำอะไรบางอย่างที่ทำให้อีกฝั่งอาจจะทุกข์น้อยลงหรือมีความสุขมากขึ้นก็แล้วแต่

ในความสัมพันธ์ของมนุษย์การที่เรารู้จักเอาใจเขามาใส่ใจเราถึอเป็นทักษะทางสังคมที่จะทำให้สังคมโดยรวมนั้นอยู่รอด ถ้าจะมองให้แคบลงมา ในความสัมพันธ์แบบคู่รักหรือครอบครัว การเอาใจเขามาใส่ใจเราจะทำให้ความสัมพันธ์นั้นเจริญงอกงามและยั่งยืนเพราะรากแก้วแห่งความรักและความปราถนาดีของทั้งสองฝั่งนั้นได้หยั่งรากลึกลงไปใต้ผืนดินเรื่อยๆ ลำต้นแห่งความรักเจริญเติบโตแผ่กิ่งก้านสาขาเมื่อเวลาผ่านไป

การทำบุญไม่ต้องไปทำที่ไหนไกล แค่เพียงเมตตากับคนใกล้ๆ ความสุขที่ควรจะได้ก็จะเกิดขึ้นทันตา

"ที่รัก เดี๋ยวผมจะไปขอโทษคุณนะ"